It's a small world...

I'm giving up on dating.  This time for real.  I mean, I think the dating gods are secretly sending me a message.  Or at least laughing at me.

This week I meet a potential suitor.  Let's call him, Judas.

Judas is cute.  And tall.  Y'all know how I like tall.  We text and discuss a potential date.  I'm excited!  We become facebook friends...and linkedin connections...random, I know, but hey, I'm job searching so the more the merrier.  

Does anyone really realize how good of an investigative tool facebook is?  I mean, it's amazing.  You can find out lots of stuff.  Of course I look through Judas' pics, that's what you do, right?  Well, that's what I do.  Look to see if he really is cute, tall, and fun.  I mean, you can tell a lot by pictures.  You can discover evidence of past girlfriends...or present girlfriends.

It really is a small, small world.  Chicago is even smaller.  I discover that Judas is "friends" with one of Peaches' friends.  She's super cute and looks like a lot of fun.  The following day, I ask Peaches if she knows Judas.  She doesn't, but offers to text their mutual friend to get the scoop.  And gets the scoop she does!

What starts as an innocent inquiry of tall cutie, reveals an inner asshat.  Peaches calls me in distaste!  "You are going to die..."  I roll my eyes...what winner have I discovered now?  "Turns out, Judas has been dating her exclusively since November."  Ugh, really.  I mean is Chicago just the melting pot of assholes - or am I just an asshole magnet?  I figure I have nothing to lose, so I text Judas myself, asking if he really has a girlfriend.  His "explanation" is vague...she's not my girlfriend...blah blah blah...we were just talking...blah blah blah...whatever.  So, needless to say, I don't see a date with Judas in the future.  

On a side note, I end up meeting the "friend" at a birthday party Peaches and I had.  She really is super cute and a lot of fun.  Looks like Judas f'd up with 2 amazing girls!!!

"Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!" ~ @LouboutinWorld

I LOVE shoes.  All kinds of shoes.  But especially the really expensive ones.  My all time favorite is the man with the red sole, Christian Louboutin.  There is just something about putting on that Italian leather, the crimson red sole, and the 6 inch platform that says "Hello world, I've arrived!"


Other shoes I'd like to arrive in...


A girl simply MUST own a nude pump.  They absolutely go with everything, in style for every season, and will be a purchase you will not regret.

Christian Louboutin ~ Maudissima pump ~$595

The cage pump just got sparkly!  

Jimmy Choo ~ Elba ~ $1995




Every UK fan needs these.

Christian Louboutin ~ Mago ~ $795




Perfect update for your LBD.

Miu Miu ~ Tri-tone Buckled Sandal ~ $820




I live in these in the summer time.  Adds instant sheek to any outfit.  Great with maxi dresses.

Tory Burch ~ Emmy sandal ~ $195

Neon Brights ~ Fashion Lust

I'm a sucker for color!  Anyone who knows me knows that I do not shy away from every neon, any pink, sunshine yellow!  The excitement I had when my Parisian friend left her copy of French Marie Claire at my house, words just could not explain!!

I don't speak French, but I speak color!

Long jacket, Bustier, Satin and silk harem pants ~ Gucci; Triple belt ~ Paul Smith Women

Inflatable cotton skirt ~ Petit Bateau

The French aren't the only one rocking the neon phenom, Australian Fashion Week was aglow.

Cardigan ~ Miu Miu; T-shirt ~ Ellery; Skirt ~ Christopher Kane; Bag ~ Louis Vuitton; Shoes ~ Salvatore Ferragamo

Dress ~ Miu Miu

And don't worry - no need to hop the pond for these luscious colors, in NYC the brights will blind you.

Dress ~ Jil Sander

Dress ~ Lanvin

Neon brights, my fashion lust!!

Fashion Lust or Bust??

I love fashion.  I just can't help it.  I'm always taking the "long way home" via Michigan Avenue.  What can I say, I have Vogue taste on a Target budget.  I also am perplexed with what some people choose to wear.  I mean, Chicago does have something for everyone, but sometimes, people just need to take a look in the mirror.

LUST

Zella Rose Boutique ~ Ashland, Kentucky ~ 606.929.5787
Contrary to popular belief, Eastern Kentucky does know fashion!!  Ladies - they will ship to Chicago!!

LUST

Jimmy Choo ~ Oak Street
For a mere $1995, you can own these!!

BUST

Joseph called - he needs his coat back.

BUST

Polar bears are indigenous to Chicago??  Hum, who knew??

LUST

Gucci ~ Michigan Avenue
Purple suede, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!!

Got a Lust or Bust?  Email me at chicagochampagnebubble@gmail.com

Why aren't you at Derby??

If I had a dollar for every time I was asked this on Derby day, I wouldn't have to look for another job!  So, it only makes sense to share with the world (or the small amount of you who are bored enough to care) why I was not at Churchill for the 137th run for the roses...

Enter TDB (for a recap of TDB, read a few posts below).  TBD mentioned early this year that he wanted to go to Derby.  Why he was telling me this, I had no idea, I mean last I checked Derby is a public event.  Whatever.  Anyway, TBD asked if I wanted to go with. I told him that the offer is nice, but I have some other things I'd rather do (aka spend my money on, like shoes) and it didn't exactly fit into the budget.  So, he made an offer I just could not refuse - he'd buy the tickets (don't fret, I informed him that I do NOT do the following: infield; paddock; or any place that a drop of rain could be felt on my head) if I took care of where to stay.  Well, this was easy.  I have tons of friends who live in Louisville, so it looked like I was going to high roll it Barnstable Brown style for pennies on the dollar!

Uh, no.  You see, I forgot to mention that TBD is an asshole.  I mean, just an asshole.  He's cute.  And I guess has some money.  But an asshole.  I don't see TDB often, so not often that I can usually handle his assholeness in small doses.  Well, this particular asshole action put an end to that.

As mentioned in the previous post, TBD had asked me to go to a Cubs game with him.  TBD lives out of state.  He visits Chicago frequently for work.  We will usually meet up for dinner or a drink when he's in town, text from time to time,  and that defines our friendship.  That particular Friday, Mother Nature decided that she'd rather me have a $168 store credit in my pocket as a result of a mild embarrassment, then for me to sit at a Cubs game.  Who am I to argue with Mother Nature??

Instead of the game, TDB and I grabbed some lunch and did a little shopping.  TDB wanted me to help him pick out a suit for Derby, since he had never been; heck, I've never been to Derby.

Random tangent, yes, I am a born and raised Kentucky girl; yes, I love the Derby; yes I love horse racing and Keeneland is one of my most favorite places on earth.  But I have never been to a Derby!  I refuse to do the infield.  I'm not a skank, I have no desire to mud wrestle, or to show my boobs.  The paddock isn't for me.  If you can't even get into Churchill, why am I going to stand up all day in my 6 inch platform Louboutins watching it on the projection screens.  I am perfectly fine watching the Derby and the 2 and a half hour coverage leading up to it, alone on my couch, while wearing my Derby hat (do not judge me).  You see, I will not go to Derby until I can do it right.  I want to mingle with the D-list celebrities.  I want the whispers of "who is she?" as I walk by, because well, everyone figures if you are in that part of Churchill you must be somebody.  So, until I can do that, you will most likely not see me at Derby.

Back to the story, fortunately for TDB, although I have never been to a Derby, I do consider myself quite the fashionista and I know the Do's and Don't's of the fastest 2 minutes of sports.  I help him find a suit, we drop it off at my apartment (why I am not sure but +5 pts Mother Nature) and head to Hub51 to meet my friends for happy hour.

In attendance are the usuals.  Although we had all just seen each other 24 hours prior at Benchmark for the Bulls and Hawks games, so much had happened later that night it took the entire evening to catch up.  Well, I guess TDB either wasn't interested or just too much of an asshole to even pretend to care.  So he bellies up to the bar directly behind me.  With two cougars.  Two.

Eva thinks this is absolutely hilarious.  Quite frankly, I do too!  I mean, strange and a bit of a blow to my ego, but funny nonetheless.  Well, that is until the cougars start to ROAR!  And roar they did!  We can hear their whispers and snickers from behind.  I found this a little sad and pathetic that two 50-something women were spending their evening stirring up trouble with a group of 30-somethings, but to each her own...until, I get called a bitch!

TDB had tapped me on the shoulder and I mentioned his suit pants at my apartment.  ROAR!!!!!  The cougar starts to scream at me "What, did he leave his pants at your apartment last night?"  Confused, and trying not to laugh, I say "Uh, no, he left them there this afternoon."  ROAR!!!!  "Bitch, he'll be leaving his pants at my house tonight!!!"  "Uh, ok," followed by an eye roll from me.

Oh. no. she. didn't.  I turn back to my table.  Eva is cracking up.  Everyone else is in awe.  The cougars continue to yap, roar, you f'n BITCH, yap, roar behind me.  I think I'm in the twilight zone.  Is this what I have to look forward to in life??  Screaming at young women in bars?  Goody.

Fast forward about an hour, Eva and I go to the restroom (yes, girls still go in pairs).  As we walk down the staircase, I see two people making out.  "Skanks," I think to myself.  Oh, nope, even better...TDB and the "bitch" yelling cougar.  Yep, I'm in the twilight zone.  After TDB and the cougar finish their business, TDB comes up to me to ask what he's done wrong.  I laugh.  I just told him that it would be better for him not to call me, not to text me, and not to think he's welcome in my house to get his shopping bag back.  I informed him that I would no longer be going to Derby with him, but I'm sure the cougar would!  He turns around and just walks out.  End scene.

Of course he did text me the next day with some sorry lame ass attempt at an apology.  I didn't respond.  I knew he was going to be in Chicago the following weekend for work.  I waited to see if I heard from him regarding his stuff - nope!  So I now have a nice store credit that I will use to by myself something fabulous!!!!  Any suggestions??  I'm thinking a nice maxi dress.  Or maybe a metallic, skinny belt?

And that, my friends, is the answer to the question, "Why aren't you at Derby??"

Like oil and water

I can't quite explain my two loves and obsessions of life: high end fashion and sports.  It doesn't make a lick of sense, and I kinda like it that way.  I've found myself following twitter.  Those I "follow" range from Marc Jacobs, Nordstrom, Christian Louboutin to UK Athletics, KY Sports Radio, and Coach Cal.  I don't know, I think it's charming and goes perfect with this quote by Ashley Judd:

“Sure, girls from New York, they are tough. And girls from Georgia, they are sweet. But those born and bred feisty Kentucky girls, they are the ones you have to look out for. We have sugar and fire in our blood. We can ride a horse, be a débutante, throw a left hook and tell you the entire UK line up all while making sweet tea. And if we have an opinion, you get to know it. We're both the pride and the downfall of the bluegrass...”

So, I'm going to try and add a fashion side to this blog.  Some posts will be about my lusts, some will be about the OMG Why is she wearing that, and so on.  But today, I start with an outfit that I am in absolute LUST with...

Balenciaga by Nicolas Ghesquière Cannage Acidule sequin dress, $19,500, Balenciaga Boutique NY, 212-206-0872; Christian Louboutin Toutenboucle buckle sandal, $995, get it at bergdorfgoodman.com; Salvatore Ferragamo navy stingray minaudiere, $1290, Available at Salvatore Ferragamo boutiques nationwide,ferragamo.com; Iradj Moini amethyst and quartz earrings, price upon request, 212-925-5666; Iradj Moini silver mechanical link bracelet, $600, available at Barneys New York,barneys.com; Lynn Ban silver bulletproof cuff, $1096, and silver armour rings, $250, get them at kirnazabete.com

Love/Hate Relationship

So, I like to nickname various boys in my life.  This deserves an entire post on it's own, but I quickly wanted to share the latest text exchange with one I like to call "Tie dye boy."  And I wonder why I'm single...

TDB: cubs game friday
Me: sure
TDB: its a day game
Me: office closing early for good friday
TDB: ok then call me if you want to go
Me: ugh, i hate talking on the phone
TDB: im sure i can find someone that has communication skills higher than a 12 yr old
Me: you are just so sweet - makes me want to call you ASAP
TDB:  so meet me at the cubbie bear around noon on friday
Me: fine

Poker Face

Chico: "Are you gonna make your flight in the morning?"
Dani: "I am gonna make it.  But between now and then I'm going to do dirty things."


Sigh - sometimes I even make myself laugh!


This sums up our Final Four trip quite nicely I do believe!

Chico and Chica graciously allowed my friend Carissa and me to crash with them for the weekend festivities.  At that time, we were not aware that Houston is also referred to as Bye Bye Liver.  We quickly learned.

Day 1
Our Saturday started nice, Chica and I got mani/pedis while waiting for Carissa to arrive.  Attended a crawfish boil where the men pickin's were slim, unless you're into that 60-something married scene - hey, who am I to discriminate :-)

The Final Four atmosphere was amazing - it gave me chills.  However, I'll sum up this part of the evening with 2 sentences.  We are kinda a big deal and sat in our suite with the championship trophy and the VCU team, well, until they got kicked out for not having tickets (uh, really usher, they just f'n PLAYED in the final four).  UK lost.  The end.  Oh, we did get to touch the championship trophy.  Too bad we were closer to it than UK ever was.  Life could be worse, we could have gotten beat by VCU.

On to Fifth Amendment.  Now, the Houston scene is not the same as the Chicago scene, AT ALL.  If you're not a gorgeous Hispanic woman, with a slamming body, long dark hair, and fake boobs, honey, just move back to Kansas.  There is nothing for you here.

We met some of our host's friends.  His circles are a bit different than mine - former NBA players, high power attorneys, poker players, people with wads of cash that I probably don't want to know where it came from - all with trophy girls on their arms.  It's amazing.  Oh, and of course Chico knows the owner - naturally.  Best table in the club.  Check.  Bottles of champagne poppin'.  Check.  Grey Goose, Makers.  Check.  Y'all catch my drift.  Even though, most of the time I was surrounded in a Houston club, with cougars making out on either side, I smelled like crawfish and champagne, and my team lost - it was a great night.  The kick ass Dee-Jay and $7 pizzas waiting for us while our driver came to pick us sure didn't hurt either!  Little did I know, this was "taking it easy."  I prayed.

Day 2
SUNDAY FUNDAY!!!  Sunday Funday is what keeps me coming back to Houston.  Although, I'm not sure why.  I cannot say that I've ever truly remembered a Sunday Funday, but I hear they are fun.  The weather is gorgeous, so we go and grab some bloody marys, beers, and crawfish on a patio bar (weather - point Houston).  Chico's friends join us.  A dance party ensues.  "Google me bitch" brings a round of shots.  There are a lot of shots.  I look at my phone, damn, it's only 3.  Seriously, do these people have livers?  Are they all on the transplant list and trying to kill one another off to get their's?  I just don't understand.

I must digress... "Google me bitch."  GMB, for short, is an ex-NBA player.  A friend of his got into a discussion of whether he was merely a situational player.  GMB didn't take well to that - so his comment.  You guessed it "Google me bitch!"  First, I am putting that on my bucket list - I would love to have that comment and it actually be legit.  However, Carissa and I did google GMB, only to find the first hits are of MJ dunks over GMB and some article about how he tried to fake his 3 consecutive triple double.  Hum...GMB, maybe you wanna google yourself before you use that one liner, albeit, amazing!

Chico, Carissa, and I meet up with some other UK alum and head to the Rockets game.  Oh, we're in the Hawks suite.  With the Hawks owner.  Hawks owner not happy.  He can get over it - so we drink our Makers and piss him off with each clap for Patrick Patterson.  Whatever - I can't help it their team sucks.

After the game, we're taken down through the press and locker rooms to sit court side and wait for PPat.  Yeah, I tried to sneak peeks in the locker rooms - I'll admit it!  This was pretty amazing.  Over 250 UK fans are filling the seats waiting for him.  Somehow, we are court side, sitting in line ahead of the President of the University.

We get our chance to take pics with one of the most legendary UK players in recent years and we learn that he has a table at the same club we do.  Yeah, we're amazing.  Ok, Chico is amazing - but I get to be amazing through him.

By the time we return to Sunday Funday, it is apparent that GMB felt the need to pass out more shots while we were gone to the game.  Not to worry though, a few more treys come our way.  My liver hurts just typing this.   GMB takes Carissa's necklace.  Ohhh, is this the set up for the big event we all hear mixed stories about?!??!  Carissa tries to make an even trade for his diamond encrusted watch, but even GMB knows better than that...so'll he'll just buy more shots.  But not before going to the women's restroom where Carissa has a full conversation* with him while he's just peeing away.

*This matter is in dispute - conversation or making out.  Maybe she held it?  Maybe she just saw it?  Maybe there was some tongue?  Either way, Carissa denies it (it must be noted that on Monday, Carissa didn't remember a single thing from Sunday) and another friend claims he saw her and GMB making out (of course he may as well peed his pants sitting at a table next to him and by judging at his photos, wore more champagne than he drank).

We head to Knox where I see an attractive woman who has appeared to have forgotten her shirt.  She is wearing a white suit and a sparkle bra.  That's it.  I later find out she's a Rocket's dancer, who has a table next to us.  Bitch, I don't care who you are - you still forgot your damn shirt.  So we have the Rockets girls on one side, PPat on the other, and our table full of who's who of Houston.  I'm not quite sure how I got here.

One of Chico's friends starts to flirt a little, I call him "Poker face."  PF and I have some shots and champagne.  We dance.  PF is tall - I like tall.  However, I'm pretty sure PF has a gf...or is at least dating someone.  And he did use this line on me "why are you wearing perfume?"  "Because I like the way it smells."  "You're not wearing it hoping to meet someone?"  "Nope."  "Well, you met someone, deal with it."  Poor PF, you really are dumber than a box of rocks.

Carissa: "Dani, stop being a prude!!"


Oh, it's on now!!  Of course, all of this is going on while our Bolivian princess is getting kicked out of the club.  No one really knows why.  I heard she threw a punch.  I heard she was just talking to someone and the bouncers grabbed her and threw her out.  Who knows - we're too busy stealing back our champagne from PPat's hands.

So, I stop being a prude and I make-out with PF in the club.  When in Rome...

Day 3
Really...do I still have a liver??  How is this possible???  Houston is the fattest city in America - is it because 5/7 nights a week they drink until their eyes bleed chow on $7 pizzas being sold in front of the bars and eat 3 orders of cheese fries the next day before they start it all over again?  I say yes.  I'd also like to see the length of that liver donor list.

We start off the afternoon with margs and Mexican food.  Mmm, these are going down WAY too good!!!  We go to the Championship Game where we still have our suite.  Carissa and I meet 2 men who heart us.  I mean, who doesn't.  Corona after Corona after Corona - I think I'm a little tipsy.  They want to come to Chicago - Carissa and I want Bulls Playoffs Tickets.

Old man: "You plan it, we'll pay for it."


I think this needs to be every man's motto.

The game was lame.  Really lame.  So we go to Vintage to damage our liver some more.  Carissa and I are on vacation dammit!!!

I would like to write about Vintage, but I can't.  Mainly because I just don't remember.  Not a thing.  I know PF and I were flirting, I know Carissa was flirting with someone, I know there were more shots involved, and I've been told the quote above was said.  All I do know is I wake up to my alarm at 4 am, with PF, who has to take me to Chico's so I can get my stuff and make it to my 6 am flight.  Which I do - and I still have SO many questions about last night's activities!  So, if you were at Vintage in Houston, or know someone who was, please leave comments in the section so I may piece my night together!  PG only please ;-)

Dani and Carissa v. Houston - I think it was a draw!

Do ya wanna get weird?

Well hell literally almost froze over before I was asked on a date.  Chicago Blizzard 2011 - I just wanted an excuse to leave work early, grab some wine, and make snow angels.  Instead I end up at a cool little Irish pub with Gus, a friend of mine from law school, and a few of his co-workers.  Poor Gus, I'm not sure who has worst luck dating, him or me.  Although I can guarantee my stories kick his stories ass, such as Exhibit A - Lenny.


Lenny is ok-cute - not really my type, so 1 point for Lenny most likely not coming from the shit-hole pickin's of men.  He is tall, guess ol' boy Lenny gets another point.  I learn Lenny is friends with Gus's friends and does some sort of work with companies who owns bars.  To be honest, I didn't really care what Lenny did after I heard bar - my question then was, then were's my f'n birthday party in my mouth shot??  I guess Lenny isn't a bartender.  Minus 1 point.


Lenny asks for my number and if it would be ok to take me out sometime.  I agree.  He leaves early while the rest of us ponder snow angels.  After he's gone,  I get a text from Lenny saying that he's sorry he had to split, but looking forward to taking me out.  I smile.


The following day, I get a text from Lenny asking what my weekend plans are.  Wow, I may need to take some deep breaths - it's been ages since I met a man who asked for my number and actually used it.  Yep, the Chicago Blizzard caused hell to freeze over.  We agree upon West Town Tavern for Friday night.


Friday, I get a text from Lenny that says he's excited to take me out.  Ok, this boy is making me smile - point Lenny.  So, maybe you folks were onto something, maybe my type does suck the straw out of a heated up asshole?  I get to West Town Tavern - so cute.  The exposed brick, the crackling wood of the fire place, the low roar of conversation tickled with laughs - yes, this is the perfect first date spot.  Lenny is waiting for me at the bar with a glass of red wine.  A DELICIOUS glass of red wine.  1 point Lenny.  We get to our table, a cozy table for 2.  We talk.  Wow, we are actually talking about real things - basketball, Emanuel as mayor, how he coaches an 8th grade team from Cabrini.  Hum...maybe this guy isn't so bad.  We talk for a good 30 min before we even open our menu.  Except, something isn't right.  Lenny is getting loopy.  I think he's just nervous.  Nope, awww hell, Lenny is getting smashed!  I'm baffled.  WTF has Lenny been drinking or taken before coming to dinner?  I mean, I'm glass for glass with him in wine and I'm not slurring my words.  Awww damn, he didn't roofie me did he?  Ok, ok, no roofies...at least not in my drink, but definitely something in his...and HERE comes the fun boys and girls.


Lenny:  So, uh, ya wanna get naked? minus 10 points
Me: uh, NO.
Lenny:  huh?  Why not?
Me: I'm not having this conversation (please bring me my food, please bring me my food).


YAY!!!!!  Food.  Well, that shut Lenny up for literally 2 minutes.  Yes, 2 minutes, and that may be exaggerating!  I have never seen someone shovel that much food into their mouth.  I just couldn't watch.  But hey, beggars can't be choosers...it was 2 minutes I didn't have to worry about what freak show may come out next.  I attempt to eat my pork tenderloin - which looked beautiful - too bad I didn't get to soak it all in before Lenny's big ol' clunky fork is digging into my meat.  Really??  Is this normal behavior??  Do strangers just eat off of their dates plates now?  I mean, in his mind did he just think, well, she's not getting naked, I'm paying for this anyway, so, it's my food too.  Whatever.  Gross.  As if that wasn't rude enough, he then asks for the check while I am still finishing dinner.  At this point I don't even want to see the food garbage disposal over there has shoveled through.  If Lenny is wasted...Dani is getting wasted too!!


We walk to a bar across the street.  I'd like to say we walked, but I guess Lenny thought that if we stood there in one spot long enough maybe I'd magically lose my clothes or something.  Ugh, just get me a f'n drink and get it to me NOW!!!  I make friends with the bartender - birthday parties in your mouths for everyone!!!


Sidebar - if you do not know what a birthday party in your mouth is, you are missing out on life.  Learn it immediately.  It is always someone's birthday and you will want to celebrate!


Thankfully around this time Peaches comes to the rescue!  I'm begging her to please go to my favorite local bar immediately so we can all meet up.  I need someone else to witness this.  Peaches tells us to come to B's house (Peaches' bf).  I seriously didn't think I could catch a cab that fast, in heels, in 27 inches of snow - yeah, THAT should be an Olympic event!  We get to B's and well, let's say all of us are in our champagne bubbles!  B and Lenny go outside to chat.  A few moments later, B is making the strangest faces I have ever seen.  He's making "hit the road" signs, "lose him" signs - and some faces I didn't even know a man could make.  Whatever, I was drunk, tired, and definitely not looking forward to a night-cap with Lenny.  Eventually we get into separate cabs, not sure how I pulled that one off.  I came home and drifted off to dream world.


Nothing like the next morning after your friends have met a potential suitor.  I have 2 texts from Peaches "Are you alive?  Do you have a prisoner?" and "Have you been kidnapped?"  All valid concerns.  I finally text her back, no prisoner, thank the Lord!!!  Peaches asks if B told me what Lenny said to him while they were outside - he had not.  Peaches informs me of the following:


"He asked B if he wanted to get weird.  B was like, what do you mean?  And he said, let's just say I'm not afraid to see your penis."  Minus 4309584296754695807865 points


W. T. F. ??????  Seriously Chicago, this is what you give me!!!  I finally accept a date w/a bloody lad who wasn't my type and most likely not from the shit-hole of men pickings - and THIS is what I get?????  According to B's interpretation, Lenny wanted the 4 of us to get together.  Yes, because THAT is appropriate first date behavior!!
It is now Tuesday - I have gotten apology messages from Lenny on Saturday, Sunday, and Today.  I haven't responded.  I mean, what do I say, "um, when you told B that you're not afraid to see his penis, that made me uncomfortable?"  Do I ask why I wasn't consulted in this orgy conversation?  I mean what is wrong with people???


I think I'm never dating again - or only dating for the purposes of this blog.  Good heavens - are there any non-asshole freak-shows out there??

The world is your smorgasboard...

Hi all!  I'm Dani - a 30-something Chicago single who loves fashion, basketball, and here lately, boys.  You can usually find me prancing around town in my Loubies with my 2 best friends - Eva and Peaches (don’t ask).  Im an attorney by day, and well, since my latest break-up, sometimes by night.  And trust me, since back in the dating world, I think I'd rather be writing briefs than trying to see a man in his.  

I've always pondered writing a blog, but it wasn't until my latest date that I actually pulled the trigger.  After an excruciating amour lasted a year and a half too long, I'm back on the market.  Eva's theory about dating is that "the world is your smorgasboard."  My theory has always been to "keep one in your hand and another in your pocket" but since I'm more of a "do as I say and not as I do" kinda girl, that hasn’t quite been my style.  Until now...  Since my “type” appear to be tall, self-centered, assholes often found at the bottom of the shit-hole of men - maybe Eva is on to something...the world is my smorgasboard; and why can’t I have one in my hand and another in my pocket?  The challenge is on!